


Pitter-Patter

by KelseyWrites



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Angst, F/M, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-06
Updated: 2015-10-06
Packaged: 2018-04-25 02:03:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4942495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KelseyWrites/pseuds/KelseyWrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After watching your niece for an afternoon, you and Ryan discuss children.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pitter-Patter

You wave at the car as it pulls out, your sister and niece inside, and turn and walk back into the house to survey the mess that little Angie had made.  _More like Hurricane Angie. Who knew a five year old could make such a mess?_  “You were no help either.” You look down at your lab, Molly, and she puts her head in her paws with a small whine. “How many treats did she feed you?” Molly wags her tail at the word ‘treats’ and rolls over. “Mmhmm.” You shake your head and bend over to pick up a couple stuffed animals, tossing them into the small toy box you kept in the closet under the stairs for Angie.

You were dismantling the couch fort when you heard the front door open and Molly runs into the entry way, barking and wagging her entire body. You poke your head up over the fort and smile. “Hey honey. How was work?”

“Tiring.” Ryan puts his stuff down and walks into the living room. “Looks like Angie was here.”

“You would be correct.” You say, folding the sheet. “Jenny had to work late today so I had the joy of babysitting after kindergarten”

“Sounds fun.” Ryan smiles and grabs the couch cushions, putting them back on the couch.

“Yeah, in theory.” You grumble. “I didn’t get any work done today. She is a whirlwind – I love her, don’t get me wrong, with every piece of me. I was there when she was born, I was the first to hold her after the doctor, but I have a deadline Ryan, and I get to do this again tomorrow.”

“Oh, come on Y/N, it couldn’t have been that bad.” He picks up the last accent pillow from the

floor and tosses it on the couch, then flops down onto it, patting the seat beside him.

“I’ve been cleaning for the past half hour. I still have dishes to wash and a load of laundry to do, Molly needs to be walked, dinner needs to be made, I have a midnight deadline on a paper I haven’t even started yet-“

“Alright, come on. What do you want for dinner? I’ll order in.” Ryan pushes himself up from the couch and walks into the kitchen to the junk drawer stuffed full of takeout menus. “We have pizza, Thai, Chinese-“

“I don’t care.” You say tiredly as you turn the sink on and start to stack dishes.

Ryan walks over, menu in his hand, and turns the water off. “I’ll do those later.”

“Ryan they need to be done now-“

“They can wait till later. I’m ordering Chinese.” He grabs the phone and walks over to the dining table.  You sigh and turn the water back on, digging out the washing liquid and filling up the sink. Last time Ryan said he’d do them later they didn’t get done, and you had double the dishes to do the next night. You stick the silverware and cups in first to soak for a minute, then head to the laundry room to get the load started.

* * *

 

You stuff a forkful of noodles in your mouth and type one handed on your laptop. “So we taped a Free Play today.” Ryan says from across from you at the table.

“Yeah? How’s Meg doing? We should have them over for dinner again soon.” You say, not taking your eyes off the computer.

“She’s fine. It was a good episode, you’ll like it. I could ask them for Friday? Enchilada night? I could ask the rest of the guys and we can make it a party.”

You shake your head. “Can’t, babysitting.”

“Oh come on, you could do it.”

You look up over your laptop. “Ryan, did you not see the house today? I can’t babysit, keep the house clean, and make a meal for,” you count on your fingers. “Ten people all at once. I can’t do it.” You put the container down and grab another. “We could make it for Saturday, do a pot-luck thing or even move enchilada night, or next Friday.” You slump back down in the chair and start typing again.

“Jenny does it every day.”

You roll your eyes behind the computer. “Jenny’s apartment is in a constant state of Angie induced chaos, and she cooks dinner for her and a five year old. If you wanna eat boxed mac & cheese with dinosaur chicken nuggets and steamed broccoli and carrots I could do that for ten people - if they want to eat it in the couch fort on paper plates.”

Ryan sighs and the dining room is silent for a couple minutes. “What about when we have kids?”

The question makes you swallow wrong and you spend the next minute coughing. “What?” You finally squeak out.

“What about when we have kids?” Ryan repeats.

“Is this… is this a trick question?” You close your laptop and look across the table at him. “We’ve discussed this, you’ve known this since we got together three years ago. I don’t want kids.”

“Ah come on, Y/N-“

“You didn’t want kids either!”

“You haven’t changed your mind?” Ryan looks at you, hope in his eyes. “Not even a little bit?”

“No!”

“But you’re so great with Angie-“

“Yeah, it’s fun being Cool Aunt Y/N! You know the best part about Angie though? When Jenny comes to pick her up and I’m done.” You finish off the container of… whatever you just ate, and stand up to start clearing the table of the empty containers.

“It’d be different with our kids.” Ryan says softly from the table.

You throw the containers in the garbage with more force than necessary, slamming the cabinet door shut. You close your eyes and hold onto the counter, counting to ten. At ten you turn and walk to the table, grabbing your laptop. “I have to go finish this paper.” You leave him in the dining room as you head for the study.

* * *

 

“Hey, I’m going to bed.”

“Alright.” You sit with a pencil in your mouth, books spread out around you and your half done paper in front of you.

“Y/N-“

“Can we talk in the morning about this please? I really need to get this paper done.”

A beat goes by. “Okay. Don’t stay up too late.” Another beat. “Night.”

“Night.” You lift your hand half-heartedly and then go back to typing.

* * *

 

At eleven fifty-eight you hit send on your paper. It wasn’t great, you knew it wasn’t. But it’d snag you at least a C, which is all you need. You slump back in your chair and rub your forehead. You could hear Ryan pacing upstairs, waiting. He wouldn’t wait until morning for this discussion. You knew he wouldn’t.

You take your time shutting down the laptop and putting your books away, you take Molly out to the back yard before bed, and make sure the downstairs is all locked up before heading up. You stand at the bottom of the stairs and take a deep breath before taking the first step.

Ryan was in the bedroom, perched on the corner of the bed in his pajamas, waiting. He stands when you walk in. “Y/N-“

“Ryan, please.” You hold your hand out. “I’m exhausted. Can we just – can we sleep and talk about this tomorrow?”

“I want kids.” Your heart drops into your stomach and you look up at him. “I want kids Y/N, I want to be a dad. I want this house to be filled with the pitter-patter –“

“We have Molly! We can get more dogs!” You gesture to the dog who had followed you up the stairs. “You can dress them up in little outfits!”

“Y/N.” He says softly and walks towards you.

“NO.” You take a step back. “I already raised one kid Ryan. As soon as Jenny hit eighteen, I was done. I’ve done the mom thing and I’m not good at it, I fucked her up, and I’m not gonna do that to another kid.” Molly whines and crawls under the bed to get away from your raised voice.

“Y/N, Jenny is fine-“

“Yeah. She’s fine now that she’s away from me! She moved to Ohio, found Ben, they had Angie, she found a great job - all within a year of her leaving me! I wasn’t good for her Ryan.”

“Y/N it wasn’t you!” Ryan’s voice raises slightly as well. “You did your best-“

“And it wasn’t good enough!”

“You were eight! You were an eight year old raising an infant! You’re an adult now Y/N, you can make better choices, you know how to make better choices now.” He steps forward and puts a hand on your shoulder. “You’d be a great mom.”

You shake your head and take a step back. “I have to - I have to go.” You turn from him and rush out of the room, down the stairs and grab your purse from the railing.

“Y/N, wait!”

You stop with your hand on the front door. “I can’t do this right now.” You say to the door and then fling it open.

* * *

 

You knock on the door, trying to be quiet but loud enough to be heard. You wait a minute and place your forehead on the door and knock once more, squeezing your eyes shut, hoping. After another minute you hear the deadbolt unlock and the door slowly opens, the chain still in place.

“Y/N? What are you doing here so late?”

“I didn’t wake you, did I?” You look through the crack of the door to your sister.

She shakes her head. “I was in bed reading.” She closes the door to undo the chain and she pulls the door open. “Y/N, are you okay?”

“Jenny, can I stay on your couch for a while?”

“Oh Y/N…” She opens the door more and motions you in. “I repeat, are you okay?”

You walk in, putting your purse on the side table and rub your face. “I don’t know. I don’t think so. I just need – I needed to just get away for a little bit.”

“It wasn’t Angie was it? Did she do something while she was there?”

“No, no no. It wasn’t Angie.” You turn to your sister. “She was fine. We just – Ryan and I – we just need to take a little breather right now.”

Jenny looked you over, worry etched across her face. “Okay. I’ll get you a pillow, you might want to open the windows, it’s warm out and we maxed out our A/C use for the day. Do you want some shorts?” She eyes your jeans.

“Yes please.” You look around the small living room, Angie’s toys everywhere, couch made into another fort.

“Oh, I forgot about that.” Jenny follows your eyes. “Give me a sec and I’ll-“

“I’ll get it Jenny, don’t worry about it.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I dismantled one already today, I can do another.” You give her a small smile. “Just, pillow and shorts and then you get some sleep.”

* * *

 

You spent the next morning cleaning your sister’s apartment from front to back, top to bottom. It didn’t take long, it was a small place and Jenny was relatively clean – you just needed something to do until Angie got out of school.

At twelve thirty you picked up Angie and then went straight to the house. Ryan would be gone at work, you could pack a couple of bags, grab your laptop for school, your school books – and then just figure out what to do.

Three years. You have spent three years of your life with him, you loved him, you had a house together, Molly – but you just…

“Aunt Y/N, where’s Molly?” You both walk into the quiet house, Molly didn’t run down the stairs from her spot on the bed she knows she’s not supposed to be on.

“I think she went with Ryan to work today honey. Come on, I’ll go get you a snack and then we’ll find something on TV so I can get some things.”

“Can I get the toys out?”

“Yeah, yeah go ahead. Knock yourself out kid.” You sigh as she runs to the hall closet and drags the box out, immediately throwing toys around the small hallway. You put your purse on the bannister and then head back towards the kitchen, stepping over the toys Angie was tossing around.

After searching the kitchen for some Angie and Jenny approved snacks, you sit Angie down at the coffee table in the living room with a handful of baby carrots, some ranch, a handful of potato chips, and a bottle of water. “Alright, I have to go get some things. You stay here, okay?” Angie nods, her eyes glued to the TV. “I’ll be right upstairs if you need anything.”

“ ‘K.”

You give her back the double thumbs up. “Aces.” You mutter and turn to the stairs. You climb them slowly, not wanting to do this at all. You take a breath before you open the bedroom door and just do it.  _Like ripping off a band-aid._ Ryan’s side of the bed looked a mess, your side was still pristine. You tear your eyes away from the bed and head to the closet, reaching up to grab the travel duffle from the top. Just something for a week. Then, well then things will go from there – after you’ve both had time to think and figure it out.

You toss the duffle on the bed and then start going through your clothes in the closet. You’d just need some shirts, shorts, pair of jeans which you were already wearing – you toss it all on the bed then go to the dresser for underwear and bras. You throw it all on the bed with the other clothes and then stick your head out of the bedroom door. “You okay down there?”

“Yeah.” With a nod you go to the bed and unzip the duffle, sticking your hand in to see if there was anything forgotten from the last vacation you guys took. Vegas for the weekend – you guys had eyed a drive through chapel, but then laughed it off and went back to gambling. You hand hits something and you grab it.

It was a box. A small black velvet box. “No.” You whisper as your hand starts to tremble. “No no no.” Your other hand comes up, shaking, as it lifts the lid. You slam the lid shut and drop it like it was on fire. It was a ring. A gorgeous little ring. You close your eyes and hold back the tears. You couldn’t do this. With shaking hands you pick the box back up and go place it in the center of the dresser, then you turn your back to it and go back to packing.

It was a rush job, you didn’t bother folding anything, not after finding the ring. You just toss it all in the bag, shoving it in, and then zip it up. You pick the heavy bag up and leave the room, avoiding looking at the dresser. You head down the stairs, putting the duffle under your purse and check on Angie. She was laying on her stomach, head propped up in her hands, all her chips and ranch gone, carrots and water still there.  _Well, I tried._ “You still okay?”

“Yeah.” Her eyes didn’t leave the TV.

You head into the kitchen for a plastic bag for your toiletries, then you rush back upstairs to shove those in the bag. You were headed downstairs, bag in hand, when the front door opens. Molly rushes in first, heading straight for the living room.

“Molly!” Ryan walks in slowly, closing the door behind him, his eyes on your bag. “Ryan!” Angie comes into view, throwing her little body at Ryan, clinging to his leg.

“Hey kiddo.” He reaches down and picks her up. “How was school?”

She shrugs. “It was okay. Thomas got in trouble today for pulling Jamie’s hair, and then Jamie got in trouble for punching Thomas for pulling her hair. Their parents were mad.” That must have been what the screaming match in the parking lot was about. You had quickly loaded up Angie and left before it could escalate.

“Oh, well you didn’t punch or pull anyone’s hair did you?” He asks, setting her down and then kneeling down to be eye to eye with her. She shakes her head. “Good, why don’t you and Molly go to the backyard, throw the ball around for her while I talk with your Aunt okay?”

“Can I feed her some treats?”

“Yes, but only two okay?”

“Okay.” Then she turns on her heel and goes screaming down the hall with the dog right behind her. “Come on Molly let’s go outside! I got treats!” You hear her unlock the back door and then run out, slamming it behind her.

“I should go open that.” You walk down the last couple of stairs and start to turn when Ryan grabs your elbow.

“It’s a fenced in yard, there’s no way in or out except the door – unless you think the five year old is going to hop a six foot fence.” He half-heartedly jokes. Then he drops his hand. “Are you… are you leaving?” His voice cracks on the last word.

You drop your toiletry bag and cross your arms across your middle. “It’s just – just for a week. I think we just need to take a small break, clear our heads, and then discuss… things.”

“You found the ring.” His voice was low, his hands in his pockets as he stares at the duffle.

“Yeah.” You nod. “Yeah it’s uh – I left it on the dresser.”

“Did you try it on?” Your throat closes and tears spring to your eyes, you shake your head. “Oh.”

Oh god he sounded heart broken. “It was – it was beautiful though.” You manage to force out. He nods and you both stand in silence for a couple moments.

“So a… a week huh?”

“Yeah.”

“So we’re just – we’re throwing away three years together?”

You close your eyes. “Ryan-“

“Y/N – I love you.”

“You think I don’t love you?” You step forward and slap his chest angrily. “I love you so much, but we don’t want the same things anymore – and I don’t want to be the person to hold you back from something you want. You deserve so much more.”

“I want  _you._ ”

“You want kids Ryan, and I can’t give you that.” You go to take a step back but he grabs your shoulders and pulls you to him, leaning down to press his lips against yours. You lean into the kiss as a tear falls and then with a small shake of your head you tear yourself away from him.

“I’m sorry, I can’t.”

“So… is this it?”

“In a week we’ll-“

“I don’t think I’m going to change my mind, Y/N.” He whispers.

“I don’t think I am either.”

“What about Molly?”

“Jenny’s place doesn’t allow dogs, and I don’t – I don’t know where I’ll be after… . We’ll make plans for me to come visit her, for her to visit me, for Angie to come see her I guess. We’ll just-“

“See in a week?”

You nod. “Yeah.”

“So I’ll just – I’ll take these out to your car for you.” He gestures towards the bags and then walks forward.

“Thank you, I just have to get my school stuff, and then Angie and we’ll be out of your hair.”

“Neither of you are ever in my hair.” He says, walking past you and out the door. You wipe at your eyes and then walk to the study, packing up your backpack with your school stuff and then walk back to the entry way, dropping it down before going to the living room to clean up Angie’s snack mess and turn the TV off.

You were in the kitchen rinsing the dishes and watching Angie out back when Ryan walks back in. “I took your back pack out too, and I uh, I adjusted her car seat, it was a little loose.”

“Thank you.” You stack the dishes and wipe your wet hands on your jeans. You could feel Ryan watching you, standing in the doorway. “There’s uh, leftover Chinese in the fridge, and some leftovers from dinner the other night. There’s a couple frozen things in the freezer, post-it note on top of each with heating instructions.”

“Y/N-“

“The dryer is full of last night's load, just go ahead and do… whatever with mine.” You sniff and wipe at your eyes again. “I’ll be back to pick them up. If you could hold my mail for me too? Just call me at Jenny’s if anything comes that looks important, her number is on the cork board by the phone.”

“I know Jenny’s number.”

“Okay. Well. We should be going then.”

“You don’t have to go right away, if Angie wants to stay with Molly-“

“No, we need to go, I can’t – I can’t stay here right now.” Ryan walks up behind you, wrapping his arms around you. You close your eyes and put your hands over his.

“I’m sorry.” He whispers down to you.

“I’m sorry too.”


End file.
